Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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