Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
