why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
the liver wants what the liver wants
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I love you.
Bad choice
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize