It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
