Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
