The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
