It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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