Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
