Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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