We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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