I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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