so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
