so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
