I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Randomize
