Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
