every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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