In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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