just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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