it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
