Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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