So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
