i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
