There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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