you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Vodka?
Forever.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
