you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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