Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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