see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
