I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
