you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
