whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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