This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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