Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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