So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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