I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
