What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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