It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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