false alarm. still invincible.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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