im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
