Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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