I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Randomize
