so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
