your room smells of hookers.
And success
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
