I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
