I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
