I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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