So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
