check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
why does every cop we meet know your name?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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