im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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