porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
