You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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