I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
